I know that what I am experiencing is small in the grand scheme of things, that others are dealing with more difficult life situations. But here I am in The Sadness. What started as a small twinge during an ab workout has turned into shooting pain in my left leg. I have followed the rules: rest, ice, compression, elevation. I’ve gone for massages, applied heat, taken Epsom salt baths. This injury is one that continues to linger, the pinched nerve that just won't stop.
Through this uncertainty I hear God.
Am I more important than running?
Will you still love me if you cannot run?
If you do not run Boston? If you do not run another marathon?
If you have a season without running?
Will you still love me?
Am I Enough?
I love to run! The time of no responsibilities. The time of silence. The feeling of accomplishment after a hard run or a new personal record during a race. I mean the feeling after crossing the finish line during a marathon is right up there with the feeling I had holding my daughters after they were born. The pain, discomfort, long nights and preparation were all worth it. I use my running to pray for others. It has become a ministry and God is asking if he is more important?
Through The Sadness, yes God you are more important than running. If I never race again, if I never run again, if my prayer runs are over I will still follow you. I will continue to pray and seek you even if I never run again.
With open hands I release my love of running. I am giving it to God and it is up to him whether he gives it back. I will trust Him. He is enough.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths.
What are you holding tightly to? Is God asking you, “Am I Enough?”