I have to acknowledge that my mom is the best. She somehow survived having 4 daughters 6 and under. I was no angel as a teen and probably caused premature graying, sleepless nights and panic attacks. My mom balanced faith, family, work, being a farmer’s wife and the chaos of life. I say this to acknowledge that my mom deserves to be celebrated and with that being said I have struggled with this day.
After getting married I just assumed that having a baby would come quickly and I would be off on the next phase of life. This was not the case, years passed, losses occurred and Mother’s Day would punctually arrive each year. The church services and family gatherings were an overflow of emotions: sorrow, anger, jealousy, self-pity. The words “Happy Mother’s Day” on repeat. I wanted to yell, “I’m not a mom.” I am now on the other side of the empty womb and wanted to share some things that helped me to survive the sorrow of Mother’s Day.
Celebrate
Celebrate the mom’s in your life on a different day. Like I said, my mom is the best, but I started to bring her flowers on Saturday. I wanted to acknowledge and celebrate my mom but could not handle the actual day. So I chose to deliver her gift the day before .
Choose Something Fun
Make a plan to do something fun. Being outside helps my mood, go for a walk, read a book in the sun and have some good food. Seriously plan ahead to have some good food on hand.
Search for Good
When everything looks gloomy and I can see nothing positive I make a list. I write down ten things that I am thankful for.
Church
Give yourself permission to skip it. Watch from home, read your bible, have some alone time with God. I struggled through Sundays at church wanting to escape and cry in the bathroom as mom’s were celebrated, flowers given to every woman. I learned that I can be honest with Jesus at home.
Go to God
You are not alone, women in the bible have walked in your path. Hannah cried out to God to the extent that her sorrow was mistaken for being drunk 1 Samuel Chapter 1.
I do not know if God will answer the prayer of your heart, if you will hold your baby on a Mother’s Day in the future. I do know that He is able. He is able to supply for all of your needs. I know that even if his answer is no, He is with you.
My Prayer
My prayer for you on this Mother's Day is adapted from Philippians 4:4-13.
Jesus be near to the women who long to be a mother. Call them to be women of joy. Calm their anxieties as they come to you with their prayers, needs, hurts and sorrows. Help them to see what they have to be thankful for in this season of life. May your peace that is beyond understanding, guard their hearts and minds in your name Jesus.
Open the eyes of these sisters to purposely search for and think about all that is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. God of peace be with them.
This is a hard path, especially on Mother's Day. I pray that they can learn to be content and know that your strength will carry them through this day, this season.